A DESPERATE PLEA

I've always thought that when you truly love someone, it's an emotion that stands the test of time. I just realized that to genuinely love someone, you must accept him, warts and all. It is a choice that you make and not the feeling that leaves you breathless.

When you found out that he decided to let you go because he cannot take the burden that you're carrying, do you thank him for his honesty and accept his decision? Or do you explain that it's not a burden that you want to pass on?

Is it okay for you to say that you choose to just continue the friendship and the business relationship because you no longer want to come between a man and his family? Or once his divorce is finalized, do you actually suggest that he looks for a younger and healthier woman who can give him the daughter that he wants and the family that he always dreamed of?

But what if in his choice, he ended up getting hurt, will you be able to help him go back on his feet and act as if nothing happened? Will you be able to say that you weren't meant to be and that you will continue to be his friend for life and that you'll pray that he gets the physical as well as the emotional and mental wellness that he needs?

I opted to do all these and more. I decided to bring him to my friends and help them both. I was willing to go an extra mile even if it means getting hurt. I had to withstand his insults and his comments because I knew deep inside that he desperately needed my help. He even had the nerve to reprimand me when I talked to his girlfriend. I was the one who even said sorry.

My friend already told me that I am nothing to you. I am just a necessary convenience. Once I've done my part and helped you both, I'm finally letting go and just let my mom deal with you. I don't know until when I can last until I finally break down. I can't afford to let you know and more so my mom or other people discover that you still have the power to affect me.

I will just wait and remain where I am. Let the Holy Spirit guide me. Through prayers and with God's help, I will finally find peace in my heart and in my mind.

NO TURNING BACK

I should have held my tongue. I should have kept quiet. I should not make him see or know that his actions greatly affected me. For he now holds all the keys because I allowed him access to what I was feeling deep inside.

But how can I not speak? How can I not keep silent? How can I not make him realize that he is deeply hurting me?

I needed to vent my anger. I needed to let out the pain. I needed an outlet for all the emotions building up within me.

I am so tired being depressed. I don't want to be sad. I don't have to be sick. I hate being afraid. I no longer want to feel insecure. I can't afford to be uncertain. Neither do I want deprivation or incompetence to prevail.

I want to be happy. I need to be healthy. I am brave. I feel secure. I know what I really want. Most especially, I want abundance and success.

I must always adopt a positive outlook in life.

I am beautiful. I am loved. I belong.

I must move forward and get what I want in life at all costs.

There is no turning back once I set my heart and mind to the path I will choose to take.

The roads may not be smooth.

I will encounter every imaginable obstacle.

But with God's help and guidance, I will fulfill all the goals that I set my heart to do.

I will achieve all my dreams.

QUESTIONS IN MY MIND

Much as I hate myself for falling for someone like you,
I can’t help it.
Your arrogance and conceit ought to turn me off,
But they didn’t.
I wonder how you’ll react once you’ve found out
Who I am.

Is it love I feel for you?
I don’t really know.
But it seems I can’t let the day pass without your presence,
I need to see you or hear your name.

Just when I thought things were back to normal
That you’re completely eradicated from my mind
I was wrong.

I may try to convince myself a thousand times or more
That you’re no longer there in my heart,
But it’s not the case.

What is it in you that make me feel attracted to you?
What is it in me that make me fail to see the misery?
Of loving you will bring to me?

Alas, love may be bitter and/but sweet
But I don’t care.
Just seeing your face once in a while is enough
When you greet me with a smile on your face and utter my name.
Wow, the joy and heaven it will give me knows no bounds.

THE THOUGHTS OF YOU DRIVE ME WILD

Just seeing your face
My heart beats fast
And my eyes shine
With the glow of my attraction to you.

You're always in my thoughts
Even if I'm far away from you
Seeing you sitting across me
Is like a dream come true.

I long to feel your arms around me
And hear soft words spoken by you
I want to spend the night beside you
And feel your body next to mine.

How can I make you notice me?
How can I show you I care?
How can I say I love you?
And know that you feel the same way, too.

TO LOVE A MAN

I thought loving means possessing your loved one,
Watching his every move,
Listening to his every word,
Looking for his face amongst the crowd,
And keeping him locked inside your heart.

Now, I know it's something more...

When you love someone
You give him the chance to be heard;
You let him be himself,
You help him discover how real love is supposed to be
Without putting a chain around his neck.

In other words...
You set him FREE
Free to choose what he wants
Free to pick who to love
Free to do what he desires.

THE PAIN OF LOVING

Though the hurt runs too deep
Though the tears start to fall
I still have to show them
You mean nothing to me.

I can't afford to let you know I care
Because I fear your rejection or indifference
I wasn't wrong
Cause someone already possesses your heart.

When I hear you say that you love only her
And that you've waited all your life to meet her
My heart bleeds with pain
And tears start to fall down my cheeks.

But I'm not sorry that I met you
Cause I've learned what love is all about
It is not always joy or happiness
There is pain to experience as well.

THE GEM

The gem of my life.
The treasure of my soul.
The key to my heart.
Forever more you'll be the love of my life.